On Friday, Nick’s oncologist informed us that the osteosarcoma has metastasized to his lungs. This is consistent with the typical path of this tumor. He has no symptoms, and we shouldn’t expect symptoms for some time, but tumor spread means that curative treatment is off the table, and that all treatment now would be to delay the cancer’s growth and therefore the onset of symptoms.
My feelings are difficult to describe. I am numb, though I believe it is because my heart has been torn from my chest, and the shock of this emotional wound has rendered me a degree of clarity. This clarity provides neither comfort nor solace, rather imbuing me with the capacity to understand exactly how devastatingly unfair this world has proven to be. Despite this, Nick is fighting. He is always fighting. The inner strength of my brother is titanic, and is a constant inspiration to me. It always will be.
But there will be a time for reflection. In the short term, we are exploring treatments to slow the growth of this cancer, and making sure that Nick has fun. It’s easy to retain a bleak outlook in this situation, but for the first time in a year, my brother appears healthy. Even though the cancer spread, Nick has improved tremendously since the chemotherapy stopped, and he has the physical energy to do things he wants to do. He is active again, and we are taking advantage of his renewed strength. We are making a few travel plans, and maximizing our enjoyment of the healthy times we have.
Friends, remember that life is precious, and time a luxury. I am always deeply moved by the support we receive, and as my brother said, that’s a huge factor in us making it as far as we have. I love you all.