It's not the hand you are dealt, but how you play your cards.
Dad's Perspective
When I was updating the web site for Nick and our family and friends, I asked Nick what he wanted to have as a quote on each page. When he was 8 and was diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma, he liked, “Every Kid Deserves to be Healthy”. For cancer number three he came up with “It's not the hand you are dealt, but how you play your cards”. I have learned that in order to survive, one should accept the cards, and focus energy on making the best of the journey. I suppose there is a lesson to be learned in accepting the gifts that we have and learning to put them to the best use.
I originally came up with 12 gifts because that is what came to mind. It turns out that twelve is a special number in many ways: Twelve Patriarchs, Twelve Sons of Israel, Twelve Apostles, Twelve Months, Twelve Steps. As I look back in time, it seems to me that these gifts are timeless. They apply to the first cancer, the second cancer, the third cancer, and to all challenges we face in our lives. I offer sincere thanks to all that have helped us along the way. Godspeed.
"It is a blessing to have two sons, Nick and Joe, that have endured this battle together, as brothers and as friends, like two warriors with big shields, sharp swords and hearts of gold."
The 1st gift: Truth. I think I am like any ordinary dad that will go to battle for my kids and do as much as possible to shield them from harm. What do I say when at the bedside of my son that is diagnosed with a rare cancer in his skull and he asks: “Am I going to die…"
The 2nd gift: Time. I think our family keeps very busy doing all kinds of things: family, school, sports, friends, hobbies, vacations, etc. As a result, some times we put off doing things for a time when “life is easier” and not as hectic…
The 3rd gift: Knowledge. Communicating with our children is hard. I am not sure there are any set rules about how to communicate with your children because every situation is different. I think that the foundation for healthy communication is to tell them everything that you know and in a form that they will understand it…
The 4 gift: Advocacy. As parents, we are advocates for our children whether old or young, whether in sickness or in health. In the world we live in today, I wouldn’t send my kids to the park or to a birthday party unless I had all the details…
The 5th gift: History. If you entered a drawing and were one of 250 people out of sixty million that were chosen to go on a once-in-a-lifetime travel experience, would you take your camera? I would…
The 6 gift: Faith. Faith is an incredible thing. It is hard to believe in something that you cannot see. We are Catholic and we believe in God. The truth however, is that going to church is hard and living a faith-filled life is an ongoing struggle and a lifelong challenge…
The 7th gift: Family. When your little boy has cancer, this is a good time to “phone home”. The one thing you can be sure of is that your family will always be your family for the rest of your life...
The 8th gift: Patience. I think patience is definitely a virtue. I also think that kids definitely test your patience. I laugh at some of the “how to” books on parenting...
The 9th gift: Cleaning I can’t think of anything that I like less than cleaning house. Unfortunately, everyone has to do it at one time or another and if you are part of a family, everyone has to do his or her share...
The 10th gift: Technology. We are blessed to live in the 21st century and in a great age of technology. I read in a book once that if you are stuck in the middle of the ocean, you should pray to God and in case there is a chance that doesn’t work, start rowing for shore. I would add to that, take your cell phone and your computer...
The 11th gift: Darkness. I think that there are always moments in our lives that are dark moments and we do as much as possible to set them aside. We don’t forget about them, we just put them in a special place...
The 12th gift: Blessings. I don’t think that there are enough words to describe how thankful we are for all that we have been blessed with. When I was writing about “darkness” and finding the light, the light came in the form of many blessings...
